


I'm Not Okay

by protect_rosie



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M, Miscommunication, Negative Body Image, Pining, Text Messages, Voicemails
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 20:55:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3664659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protect_rosie/pseuds/protect_rosie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>he never feels good enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly don't know what this is. it's one in the morning and cause of my own personal pining. I was going to make it out to have happy ending, but seeing as I haven't written anything sad and open ended, I decided against it. Hope y'all enjoy!!

**@aauntis45** : jfc I can't believe that **@KevinSiegrist** is w/ **@TrevRosenthal**.. as in together together. wow Rosie can do so much better to be honest.

He knew it -- he had to have known that things were going to be this way once their relationship was made public. He knew that there were going to be people who were going to say that he was too ugly or too thin or too whatever to be with someone like Trevor. Kevin _knew_ that people were not going to be very accepting towards the fact that Bachelor of the Year 2010 was now off the market, and that _he_ was the reason, _he_ was the one that had taken Trevor off the market. Well, Kevin had not so much taken _Trevor_ off the market; it was more like Trevor had taken _Kevin_ off the market. It was Trevor who had laughed and just said "okay, fine, let's be boyfriends," and then had cupped Kevin's face and kissed him. It was Trevor who had been the one that had held Kevin's hand in public for the first time. It had _always been_ Trevor -- he just wishes to be enough for him. 

//

"Hey man, what the fuck? When I woke up, I was alone. I called your name and you were nowhere to be found. I've tried calling you like a thousand times and you won't pick up your fucking phone. What gives? I apologize if I said anything to make you feel wrong, just come back home, please. I need you here."

//

Kevin feels that he's never going to be enough. He's never going to be handsome enough, he's never going to be muscular enough -- Kevin is never going to _be_ enough. 

//

"Seriously, you're starting to freak me the fuck out. I haven't seen or spoken to you in days and I'm getting really fucking sad. I'm not used to not seeing you for this fucking long. Please come home, I need to see you, I need to feel your hands upon my face. I need to touch you, I need to know you're okay."

_seriously come back home. I miss you._

_the house feels so empty without you. it feels so cold and quiet and it's driving me insane. I just wish you would come back and help me fill this void in my chest._

_I miss you._

_nothing feels the same when you're not around. it feels so wrong._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_please come back home so that you can hear me tell you that I love you so fucking much._

_I miss you._

//

The calls eventually stopped, so did the voicemails, and the text messages. It seemed that Trevor had finally moved on. As if on cue, Kevin's phone blinked with a voicemail notification. 

"Hey, I don't know if this is still your number, and if it isn't then I'm sorry to whoever is listening to this. I'm sorry to what you're about to listen to. This message is for Kevin: I'm getting married tomorrow but I'm still in love with you [end message]"


End file.
